19 Silly Excuses to Get Out of a Date


Last Updated on January 29, 2024 by Michael

When the prospect of spending an evening with what could potentially be the human equivalent of a wet sock arises, creativity becomes your best friend. Dates are like those mystery boxes in game shows; you never know if you’re going to get a luxury vacation or a goat. But fear not! For those times when intuition screams “Run!” but social niceties demand a polite excuse, here’s a list of absurdly comical reasons to bail on that date. Just remember, if they ever find out the truth, you might just end up as the subject of their next stand-up routine.

1. Alien Abduction Prep

Let’s face it, preparing for an alien abduction is time-consuming. Those extraterrestrials aren’t known for their patience. You’ve got to get your affairs in order, say goodbye to your loved ones, and maybe even learn a bit of Klingon. “Sorry, I can’t make it tonight, I’m prepping for my intergalactic rendezvous.” Not only is it a solid excuse, but it also leaves the door open for some interesting follow-up conversations.

2. My Cat’s Yoga Class

Your cat just started yoga, and somebody’s got to be there to take photos for the ‘gram. Besides, Mr. Whiskers is nailing that downward dog pose like a pro. “Can’t come out tonight, it’s Mr. Whiskers’ first yoga class, and he needs emotional support.” Now, that’s commitment.

3. Adopting a Dinosaur

You heard right; there’s a dinosaur adoption event downtown. “Sorry, I can’t make it tonight, I’m adopting a dinosaur. You know how long those adoption papers take.” This not only gives you an out, but it also subtly implies you’re a caring individual with a flair for the prehistoric.

4. Quantum Physics Emergency

The world of quantum physics is in turmoil, and you’re the only one who can save it. “Regrettably, I must cancel our plans. There’s an emergency in the quantum realm, and apparently, I’m the only one who understands the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle well enough to fix it.” It’s a perfect blend of intellectual snobbery and comic book heroics. Plus, it’s an excuse so complex, they wouldn’t dare question it!

5. Building a Spaceship

NASA’s on the line, and they need your expertise. Building a spaceship isn’t a one-person job, but you’ve convinced them you’re the exception. “I’d love to go out tonight, but NASA needs me. You know how it is, space waits for no one.” Plus, it adds that you’re not just smart; you’re interstellar-smart.

6. Time Travel Snafu

Time travel is tricky, and you’ve just messed up the settings on your homemade machine. “Can’t make it tonight, I accidentally set my time machine to 1985 and need to sort this out.” It’s a great way to show off your inventive side and your taste in retro sci-fi.

7. Attending a Mermaid Convention

Mermaids are real, and they’re having a convention. “I wish I could come, but I’m attending a mermaid convention, and I’ve promised to bring the seaweed snacks.” It’s quirky, it’s fun, and it lets your date know you’re up for a swim in the unconventional.

8. Volunteering at the Invisible Pet Shelter

Invisible pets need love too. “Sorry, but I’ve committed to volunteering at the invisible pet shelter tonight. It’s their feeding time.” This excuse is both charitable and delightfully baffling.

9. Lost in IKEA

IKEA is a maze, and you’ve just gotten lost while searching for a BILLY bookcase. “Can’t make it out tonight, got lost in IKEA, send help.” It’s relatable, funny, and might even elicit some sympathy.

10. Crafting a Miniature City

Your miniature city won’t build itself, and the tiny citizens are getting restless. “Sorry, can’t make it tonight, the citizens of my miniature city are revolting.” It’s creative, and who knows, it might intrigue your date into wanting a tour.

11. Binge-Watching Paint Dry

You’ve found a paint drying live stream, and it’s surprisingly gripping. “I’d love to go out, but I’m in the middle of a paint drying marathon. It’s more thrilling than you’d think.” This excuse is so dull it’s actually hilarious.

12. Teaching My Fish to Sing

Your fish has shown a remarkable talent for music, and you’re its dedicated tutor. “Can’t go out tonight, my fish is just about to hit the high note.” This one’s for those who appreciate a bit of the absurd.

13. In a Staring Contest with My Reflection

It started as a quick glance, but now it’s a matter of pride. “Sorry, got into a staring contest with my reflection. It’s getting intense.” This one is both silly and a little self-reflective, pun intended.

14. Stuck in a Loop

You’re stuck in a loop, and you can’t get out. “Can’t make it tonight, I’m stuck in a loop. Can’t make it tonight, I’m stuck in a loop.” It’s a simple yet effective way to emphasize your quirky side.

15. Waiting for My Soup to Cool

That soup you made is just too hot, and you can’t leave it alone. “Sorry, can’t come out, waiting for my soup to cool down. It’s a delicate process.” It’s mundane yet oddly specific, adding to the humor.

16. My Plants Need a Pep Talk

Your plants are feeling a bit down, and they need some encouragement. “I’d love to join you, but my plants are in desperate need of a pep talk tonight.” It’s environmentally conscious and just a bit nutty.

17. Practicing My Shadow Puppetry

Your shadow puppetry skills are in dire need of practice. “Can’t make it tonight, I’m honing my shadow puppetry skills for the national championship.” It’s artistic, unique, and slightly eccentric.

18. Hunting for Ghosts

There’s a ghost in your apartment, and tonight’s the night you’ll finally catch it. “Sorry, can’t go out, I’m on a ghost hunt in my apartment. It’s serious business.” It’s spooky, it’s silly, and it might just get a laugh.

19. Perfecting My Spaghetti Recipe

Your spaghetti recipe isn’t going to perfect itself. “Apologies, but I’m on a culinary quest to create the perfect spaghetti. It’s a delicate art.” It’s an excuse that’s both tasty and amusing.

Conclusion

The next time you’re dreading a date, remember this list of ludicrously laughable excuses. They’re sure to either get you out of an unwanted outing or, at the very least, give you and your date a good chuckle. Who knows, one of these ridiculous reasons might just be the start of a wonderfully weird conversation.

Michael

I'm a human being. Usually hungry. I don't have lice.

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