A Perfectly Reasonable Amount of Bronzer “Now here’s the thing, Merle. What you’re describing to me is a success.” Merle Tackett had come in wearing a fishing shirt with two breast pockets and the expression of a man who had rehearsed in the car. He put both hands flat on the counter, which was a…
The Scratch-Off Sunscreen Miracle of Pelican Bight “—see, that’s the thing about the Doubler Dazzler,” Dwight Pilcher said, working the corner of a hotel key card across ticket number four of eleven. “They put your winner in the top left. Every time. It’s a pattern. Eleven years I’ve watched it.” “It’d be a pattern if…
Top Ten Strangest Finds While Dumpster Diving Somewhere tonight a grown adult is standing waist-deep in a retail dumpster, holding a flashlight in their teeth, breathing air that could strip paint. That is the price of admission. The strangest finds while dumpster diving do not come to people with clean pants, and the ten below…
Top Ten Worst Pranks Gone Wrong There is a specific silence that happens about four seconds after a prank stops being a prank. Everybody hears it. The worst pranks gone wrong all reach that silence eventually, usually while somebody is still holding the camera and slowly understanding what he has done. Every one of these…
Delicious possum recipes the whole family will fight over come down to two dishes. Possum and taters, and a whole possum roasted over sweet potatoes. Both need a full marsupial, most of an afternoon, and one relative with opinions. The meat runs dark and greasy and lands close to rabbit. Whether it comes out delicious…
Getting hired was the easy part. Some sleep-deprived manager glanced at a résumé, ignored every red flag waving like it was guiding a plane onto a runway, and signed off on a human being. That human being is you. Now comes the real craft: making that decision haunt them like a silent fart in a…