Good news: the single most achievable goal on your calendar this weekend is not contracting syphilis. It is free. No gym membership, no meal prep, no podcast. And unlike every goal you have ever...
Posts by Michael
The best jobs for people who fear salad dressing all share one feature. None of them involve a man named Greg ambushing your romaine with something he describes as "creamy." A genuine fear of...
Why smoking menthol cigarettes makes you a better parent is the one parenting question no pediatrician will answer with a straight face. So someone sober-ish had to. The short version: a...
Congratulations on the new relationship. Your girlfriend cannot leave you, cannot block you, and lives in the same phone as your fantasy football app. Now comes the part where you try to flirt...
The best places to hide your cash in a trailer park are not in a safe. A safe is a billboard that says "rob me last, but definitely rob me." Cash in a trailer park is like a juicy secret at a...
Drinking boxed wine for breakfast is actually healthy, which sounds unhinged until you remember the bar for "healthy" has been lying face-down on your kitchen floor since Tuesday. Picture the...