Bob Jenkins was not having a good day. As the only plumber in the tiny town of Squattersville, he was used to clogged toilets and leaky faucets, but nothing prepared him for what was about to happen.<\/p>\n
“Bob, you gotta get over here quick!” shouted Mrs. Thompson over the phone. “My toilet’s acting up again!”<\/p>\n
“Be right there, Mrs. T,” Bob sighed, grabbing his trusty plunger and toolbox.<\/p>\n
As he stepped outside, a bright light enveloped him. “Great, did I forget to pay the electric bill again?” he mumbled before realizing that the light was coming from above. He looked up just in time to see a massive spaceship hovering over his house.<\/p>\n
A beam shot down, and before Bob could say “flush,” he was standing in a room that looked like a cross between a science lab and a teenager’s messy bedroom.<\/p>\n
“Greetings, Earthling!” exclaimed a small, green creature with three eyes and wearing what looked like a bathrobe. “I am Zorgblat, Commander of the Starship Latrina.”<\/p>\n
“Uh, hi?” Bob stammered. “If this is about the unpaid parking tickets, I can explain.”<\/p>\n
“Silence!” another alien shouted, this one taller and sporting what appeared to be a colander on his head. “We have brought you here for a matter of galactic importance!”<\/p>\n
“Wait, you guys speak English?” Bob asked, bewildered.<\/p>\n
“No, you are speaking Glorbnaxian,” Zorgblat corrected. “We implanted a universal translator in your brain while you were unconscious.”<\/p>\n
“Unconscious? When was I unconscious?”<\/p>\n
“About five seconds ago,” Zorgblat replied nonchalantly.<\/p>\n
Bob rubbed his head. “Well, that explains the headache.”<\/p>\n
“Enough chatter!” the colander-headed alien interjected. “Our ship’s Quantum Flush Drive is malfunctioning, and only the prophesied one can fix it.”<\/p>\n
“Quantum… Flush… Drive?” Bob echoed.<\/p>\n
“Yes,” Zorgblat nodded solemnly. “Without it, we cannot traverse the Xylon Nebula, and our mission to save the galaxy will fail.”<\/p>\n
“Look, fellas, I’m just a plumber. I fix toilets, not spaceship… whatever you just said.”<\/p>\n
“Exactly!” Zorgblat beamed. “You are a master of the Porcelain Arts! The Chosen Plumber!”<\/p>\n
Bob blinked. “There’s gotta be some mistake.”<\/p>\n
“Is this your Plunger of Destiny?” Zorgblat pointed to the plunger in Bob’s hand.<\/p>\n
“Well, it’s a plunger, and it’s mine…”<\/p>\n
“The prophecy speaks of a hero wielding the Plunger of Destiny, who will restore the flow of the universe,” Zorgblat declared.<\/p>\n
“Listen, I think you’ve got the wrong guy,” Bob tried to protest.<\/p>\n
“Show him the Sacred Manual!” shouted the colander-headed alien.<\/p>\n
An alien with tentacles for arms handed Bob a book titled “Intergalactic Plumbing for Dummies.”<\/p>\n
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Bob muttered, flipping through the pages filled with diagrams of toilets that defied the laws of physics.<\/p>\n
“Will you help us?” Zorgblat pleaded, his three eyes shimmering with what Bob guessed were tears.<\/p>\n
Bob sighed. “Fine, but after this, you’re dropping me back home. I’ve got Mrs. Thompson’s toilet to fix.”<\/p>\n
“Yes! Onward to the Quantum Lavatory!” Zorgblat exclaimed.<\/p>\n
They led Bob through winding corridors filled with strange noises and even stranger smells.<\/p>\n
“What’s that smell?” Bob wrinkled his nose.<\/p>\n
“That is the essence of Xylorpian cheese,” Zorgblat explained. “It powers our secondary systems.”<\/p>\n
“Smells like my Uncle Larry’s socks,” Bob grimaced.<\/p>\n
They arrived at a large door with a glowing sign that Bob couldn’t read. “What’s this say?”<\/p>\n
“Authorized Personnel Only,” Zorgblat translated.<\/p>\n
“Great, breaking intergalactic OSHA regulations now,” Bob mumbled.<\/p>\n
Inside, the room was a chaotic mess of pipes, levers, and what looked like a hamster wheel with a small alien creature running inside it.<\/p>\n
“Is that…?”<\/p>\n
“Don’t mind Squibbles,” Zorgblat waved dismissively. “He keeps the pressure stable.”<\/p>\n
Bob took a deep breath. “Alright, let’s see what we’re dealing with.”<\/p>\n
He approached the main console, which had buttons labeled in symbols he didn’t understand. “I can’t read any of this.”<\/p>\n
“Here, use the Translator Goggles,” Zorgblat handed him a pair of glasses.<\/p>\n
Bob put them on, and the symbols transformed into equally confusing technical jargon. “Flush Capacitor? Septic Separator? Who designs this stuff?”<\/p>\n
“The finest engineers in the galaxy,” Zorgblat said proudly.<\/p>\n
“No wonder it’s broken,” Bob muttered under his breath.<\/p>\n
He started tinkering with the pipes, tightening some valves and loosening others. “Hand me that wrench-looking thing,” he pointed.<\/p>\n
“You mean the Spanner of Hope?” an alien assistant asked.<\/p>\n
“Sure, whatever floats your spaceship,” Bob replied.<\/p>\n
As he worked, alarms started blaring.<\/p>\n
“Warning! Pressure levels critical!” an automated voice announced.<\/p>\n
“What did you do?” the colander-headed alien shouted.<\/p>\n
“I fixed it! I think…” Bob said defensively.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, the ship lurched forward.<\/p>\n
“We’re entering a wormhole!” Zorgblat screamed.<\/p>\n
“A worm-what?” Bob yelled, holding onto a pipe for dear life.<\/p>\n
The ship spun wildly, and the aliens were tossed around like cosmic rag dolls.<\/p>\n
“I knew I should’ve stayed in bed today!” Bob wailed.<\/p>\n
With a final shudder, the ship stabilized.<\/p>\n
“Status report!” the colander-headed alien demanded.<\/p>\n
“We’ve… we’ve arrived at the Galactic Core,” an alien technician stammered.<\/p>\n
“Impossible! That would take us centuries!”<\/p>\n
“Not when the Quantum Flush Drive is working,” Bob smirked.<\/p>\n
The aliens stared at him in awe.<\/p>\n
“You’ve done it! You’ve saved us!” Zorgblat cheered.<\/p>\n
“Great, so can I go home now?” Bob asked hopefully.<\/p>\n
“Not yet,” the colander-headed alien said ominously.<\/p>\n
Bob gulped. “Why not?”<\/p>\n
“Because the prophecy says the Chosen Plumber must also unclog the Black Hole of Zarthon,” Zorgblat explained.<\/p>\n
“The Black Hole of what-now?”<\/p>\n
“Zarthon,” Zorgblat repeated. “It’s been backed up for millennia.”<\/p>\n
“Listen, unclogging a toilet is one thing, but a black hole? That’s way above my pay grade.”<\/p>\n
“Please, Bob,” Zorgblat begged. “You’re our only hope.”<\/p>\n
Bob rubbed his temples. “Fine. One last job, and then you take me home.”<\/p>\n
“Agreed,” Zorgblat nodded.<\/p>\n
They set course for Zarthon, and Bob was given a space suit that looked suspiciously like a scuba diving outfit.<\/p>\n
“Is this safe?” Bob asked.<\/p>\n
“Absolutely,” Zorgblat assured him. “Probably.”<\/p>\n
“Probably?”<\/p>\n
Before he could protest, Bob was jettisoned towards the swirling mass of the black hole.<\/p>\n
“Use the Plunger of Destiny!” Zorgblat’s voice crackled over the communicator.<\/p>\n
“This is insane!” Bob yelled as he floated closer to the cosmic abyss.<\/p>\n
Taking a deep breath, he extended the plunger towards the center of the black hole. Miraculously, the swirling mass began to slow down.<\/p>\n
“It’s working!” Zorgblat shouted.<\/p>\n
Just then, a tentacle emerged from the black hole, grabbing Bob’s leg.<\/p>\n
“Nobody said anything about tentacles!” Bob screamed.<\/p>\n
“That’s the blockage!” Zorgblat explained. “It’s the Kraken of Eternity!”<\/p>\n
“Of course it is,” Bob groaned.<\/p>\n
Thinking quickly, Bob reached into his tool belt and pulled out a bottle of industrial-strength drain cleaner.<\/p>\n
“Hope this works,” he muttered, tossing it into the black hole.<\/p>\n
A loud roar echoed through space, and the tentacle released him.<\/p>\n
“The black hole is dissipating!” Zorgblat cheered.<\/p>\n
“Can I come back now?” Bob asked weakly.<\/p>\n
“Absolutely! Prepare for extraction.”<\/p>\n
Back on the ship, the aliens celebrated their hero.<\/p>\n
“Three cheers for Bob, the Chosen Plumber!”<\/p>\n
“Hip hip, hooray!”<\/p>\n
“Great, glad I could help,” Bob said. “Now, about that ride home…”<\/p>\n
“Yes, about that,” the colander-headed alien said slyly. “We were thinking you could join us permanently.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen,” Bob backed away slowly.<\/p>\n
“But think of all the toilets you could fix across the galaxy!” Zorgblat implored.<\/p>\n
“Tempting, but I left the kettle on at home,” Bob lied.<\/p>\n
“Very well,” Zorgblat sighed. “We will return you to your planet.”<\/p>\n
“Thank you,” Bob breathed a sigh of relief.<\/p>\n
They escorted him back to the teleportation chamber.<\/p>\n
“Farewell, Bob,” Zorgblat waved.<\/p>\n
“Goodbye, and good luck with… everything,” Bob replied.<\/p>\n
In a flash of light, Bob found himself back in his front yard.<\/p>\n
“Well, that was something,” he shook his head.<\/p>\n
“Bob! Where have you been?” Mrs. Thompson’s voice called out.<\/p>\n
“Long story, Mrs. T,” Bob smiled. “Had to save the galaxy.”<\/p>\n
“That’s nice, dear. But my toilet’s still broken!”<\/p>\n
“On my way!”<\/p>\n
As he grabbed his toolbox, he noticed something shiny inside. It was a small, glowing orb.<\/p>\n
“What’s this?” he wondered.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, the orb projected a hologram of Zorgblat.<\/p>\n
“Bob, if you’re seeing this, it means we need your help again. The galaxy depends on you!”<\/p>\n
Bob stared in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”<\/p>\n
Just then, the sky darkened, and dozens of alien ships appeared overhead.<\/p>\n
“Bob Jenkins!” a booming voice echoed. “You are hereby summoned to the Intergalactic Plumbers Union!”<\/p>\n
“Intergalactic what now?”<\/p>\n
Aliens of all shapes and sizes began landing on his lawn.<\/p>\n
“Welcome, Grand Master Plumber!” they chanted.<\/p>\n
“Okay, this is too much,” Bob threw his hands up.<\/p>\n
“Bob, are you hosting a parade?” Mrs. Thompson asked, poking her head over the fence.<\/p>\n
“Not exactly,” Bob sighed.<\/p>\n
“Grand Master, we need you to lead us in the Great Unclogging,” an alien with a wrench for a hand declared.<\/p>\n
“Look, I just want to fix Mrs. Thompson’s toilet and have a quiet evening,” Bob protested.<\/p>\n
“Your Earth toilets can wait!” the alien insisted.<\/p>\n
“Actually, it can’t,” Mrs. Thompson interjected. “I’ve had to use a bucket!”<\/p>\n
Bob rubbed his forehead. “Fine! How about this: I’ll help you with the Great Unclogging if you fix all the toilets in Squattersville.”<\/p>\n
The aliens huddled together, whispering.<\/p>\n
“Deal!” the wrench-handed alien agreed.<\/p>\n
“Great,” Bob forced a smile.<\/p>\n
“Let the ceremony begin!” they all shouted.<\/p>\n
A massive throne descended from one of the ships, and Bob was hoisted onto it.<\/p>\n
“All hail Bob, Lord of the Leaks, Sultan of the Sinks!”<\/p>\n
As they paraded him through the town, Bob couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity.<\/p>\n
“Well, at least it’s not a boring day,” he chuckled.<\/p>\n
Just then, a familiar voice echoed. “Cut! That’s a wrap!”<\/p>\n
Bob looked around, confused. “What?”<\/p>\n
The aliens began removing their masks, revealing a film crew.<\/p>\n
“Great job, Bob!” the director patted his back.<\/p>\n
“Wait, this was all a movie?” Bob exclaimed.<\/p>\n
“Reality show, actually,” the director corrected. “Alien Pranksters! You’re gonna be a star!”<\/p>\n
“But what about Zorgblat? The Quantum Flush Drive? The Black Hole of Zarthon?”<\/p>\n
“Actors and special effects,” the director grinned. “We got you good!”<\/p>\n
Bob stood there, mouth agape. “So, I’m not the Chosen Plumber?”<\/p>\n
“Afraid not,” the director shrugged.<\/p>\n
Mrs. Thompson approached him. “I was in on it too, dear. Sorry!”<\/p>\n
Bob shook his head, laughing. “Well, I’ll be darned. You really got me.”<\/p>\n
“Here’s a check for your participation,” the director handed him an envelope.<\/p>\n
Bob opened it to see a figure that made his eyes widen. “Well, looks like drinks are on me!”<\/p>\n
The crew cheered.<\/p>\n
As everyone dispersed, Bob headed back to his house. Just as he was about to enter, a small spaceship landed next to him, and a tiny, real alien stepped out.<\/p>\n
“Excuse me, are you Bob Jenkins?” the little creature asked.<\/p>\n
“Very funny, guys!” Bob called out. “The show’s over!”<\/p>\n
“I’m not part of any show,” the alien said. “Our ship’s toilet is clogged, and we heard you’re the best.”<\/p>\n
Bob stared at the alien, then up at the sky. “Seriously?”<\/p>\n
“Very serious,” the alien nodded.<\/p>\n
Bob took a deep breath. “You know what? Sure, why not? Lead the way.”<\/p>\n
As he followed the tiny alien into the spaceship, Bob couldn’t help but laugh.<\/p>\n
“Just another day in the life of Bob Jenkins, Intergalactic Plumber,” he chuckled.<\/p>\n
And somewhere, in the vast expanse of the universe, the real Zorgblat facepalmed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bob Jenkins was not having a good day. As the only plumber in the tiny town of Squattersville, he was used to clogged toilets and leaky faucets, but nothing prepared<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-32","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-science-fiction"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/norveilex.com\/short-stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/norveilex.com\/short-stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/norveilex.com\/short-stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/norveilex.com\/short-stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/norveilex.com\/short-stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/norveilex.com\/short-stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33,"href":"https:\/\/norveilex.com\/short-stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32\/revisions\/33"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/norveilex.com\/short-stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/norveilex.com\/short-stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/norveilex.com\/short-stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}