Congratulations on the new relationship. Your girlfriend cannot leave you, cannot block you, and lives in the same phone as your fantasy football app. Now comes the part where you try to flirt...
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The best places to hide your cash in a trailer park are not in a safe. A safe is a billboard that says "rob me last, but definitely rob me." Cash in a trailer park is like a juicy secret at a...
Drinking boxed wine for breakfast is actually healthy, which sounds unhinged until you remember the bar for "healthy" has been lying face-down on your kitchen floor since Tuesday. Picture the...
You should not use a torch to remove hemorrhoids. That sentence should have ended the conversation. Yet somewhere on Earth, a grown adult is right now eyeing the warranty card on a Bernzomatic and...
Here is the truth, served straight and unsalted: you probably cannot stop eating Pringles before you finish the can. Nobody can. The few saints who claim otherwise are lying, or they have simply...
How to Get Your Security Deposit Back After Keeping a Miniature Horse Indoors
You kept a horse indoors. A small one. It was still a horse, and your apartment will never forget it. Now the lease is ending, and your landlord is clutching your deposit like the last lifeboat...