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Latest Short Stories
The Harbor Oyster Championship Goes Off the Scoville Scale
Cal Mercer moved his shell bucket two inches to the left. He crouched, checked the distance between the bucket and his right knee, moved it back half an…
The Hundred-Year-Old Woman Who Wouldn’t Let Them Smoke
“The sign is crooked.” Maya Torres looked at the sign. It was not crooked. “It’s level.” “It’s leaning.” “It’s clipped to the table.” “The table is leaning.” “The…
The Mustache Who Made a Living Roasting Naked Upper Lips
Darren Pike had been onstage for two minutes and thirty-seven seconds when the fake mustache under his nose decided it would rather become conscious than listen to another…
The Donkey Who Went All In and Bought the Entire Hay Market
Walter had his head in the apple bowl when Marty Bell flopped two pair. “Get out of there.” Walter withdrew his head with the deliberate calm of an…
The Roast Chicken Who Demanded the Wind in His Feathers
Neil opened the oven at 6:14 p.m. because the rosemary smelled one degree more aggressive than it had at 6:13. He wore the oven mitt Tessa had given…
The Belly Bounce Business Comes to Bramblewick
“You’re moving that truck.” Lionel Vane rested one polished boot on the front bumper. The bumper dropped half an inch. “I’m afraid the truck disagrees.” “The truck is…
The Crumb Chasers Are Too Famous to Carry Sandwiches
Fenn came in half a beat late, so Milo stopped the song as though he had caught him stealing from the nursery. The copper-wire guitar gave one wounded…
The Time Traveler Who Took the Wrong Exit to the Sixties
Malcolm “Mack” Mercer burst out of a blue-white distortion shouting, “Far out, baby, the future has arrived,” struck a wet bedsheet at chest height, and carried three more…
The World’s Best Tacos and the Worst Possible Parking Spot
Stan chewed Hector Bell’s test taco while Hector studied his face with the concentration of a man waiting for a jury to decide whether he could continue owning…
Blue Suede Hairnet
Glen “Velvet” Mercer entered the Exit 14 McDonald’s three minutes late and dressed for an evening no one else had agreed was happening. The white jumpsuit was cut…
The Frankfurter Fix
Glen Bixby stood barefoot on an industrial livestock scale while a television host announced his weight, resting heart rate, neck circumference, and estimated “sausage potential” to several hundred…
The Basement Had Levels
Greg Murdock shoved an empty moving box across the basement floor with his foot, caught it before it tipped into the sump pit, and wrote DONATE—PENDING DANA’S INEVITABLE…