The worst planets to visit when you have diarrhea are Venus, Jupiter, and the one whose name already makes you smirk. Space is the worst possible place to have the runs. Every planet out there is trying to murder you, and not one keeps a spare roll behind the toilet. Your colon has an emergency….
Hulk Hogan Halloween Costume Ideas for Chihuahuas (Whatcha Gonna Do, Brother?) A Hulk Hogan Halloween costume for a chihuahua needs four parts: red bandana, yellow tank, fake handlebar mustache, and a weight belt sized for a burrito. Everything else is attitude. Your dog came with a felony amount of that. WWE’s official bio still credits…
The best places to hide your hemorrhoid cream at work are a bag you personally carry, a drawer that locks, or the glovebox of your car. Everywhere else is a coin flip with your dignity. That tube is small and shaped like a fire extinguisher for a very specific emergency. It has never once blended…
The worst places to have a loud argument about money are the ones with an audience, bad acoustics, no exit, and a stranger holding your dog. American couples average 58 money-related arguments a year, which is one roughly every six days. Nobody schedules those. They arrive like a fart in a crowded elevator: unplanned, undeniable,…
So you demolished a Crunchwrap Supreme at 1 a.m., and now a board-certified professional is about to introduce himself to the aftermath. The good news: this is survivable. The better news: there are seven battle-tested ways to keep your dignity, your doctor, and the building’s smoke detectors fully operational. None of them involve a time…
Being covered in baby oil turns an ordinary adult into a human eel with a LinkedIn account. Almost nothing you normally do stays legal, safe, or socially survivable once you’ve gone full glazed doughnut. The honest answer is short: do less, touch nothing, apologize early. The longer answer involves your couch, a condom that didn’t…