Learning how to eat an entire rotisserie chicken while skydiving blindfolded comes down to one rule: most of the bird goes down under the parachute, not in freefall. Freefall is a minute of screaming. The canopy ride is several quiet minutes of chewing, dangling, and making direct eye contact with nobody, because you’re blindfolded and…
A freshly extracted wisdom tooth is a bloody little souvenir from the day a stranger shoved his whole hand in your mouth and billed your insurance for it. The 7 party tricks you can do with a freshly extracted wisdom tooth turn that souvenir into a bar bet, a hedge fund, a Ouija board, and…
The best McDonald’s items for people recovering from hemorrhoid surgery are the Fruit & Maple Oatmeal, Apple Slices, a Filet-O-Fish, and a water the size of a paint bucket. Everything else on the menu is a hostage negotiation with your own butthole. Hemorrhoids hit about half of adults older than age 50, so the drive-thru…
That college fund has sat in a drawer for years, silently judging you. Meanwhile a single year at a private college now runs about $45,000, which is real, spendable, beer-shaped money. That is two divorces. Or, alternatively, one unforgettable weekend in Reno. Your kid is four, eats crayons, and just lost a staring contest to…
The 13 romantic getaways you can take without ever leaving your bathroom range from a candlelit bubble bath to a Roman bathhouse night on the bath mat. Airfare is zero. Pants are strongly discouraged. The average honeymoon now runs about $5,300 for roughly seven days, according to The Knot. That’s a lot of money to…
Somewhere behind your couch is a hole in the drywall shaped exactly like a bad decision. Maybe it was a doorknob. Maybe it was a drunk roommate. Maybe it was a bedroom session that got more athletic than the headboard’s warranty allowed. Figuring out how to get your landlord to believe the hole in the…