It is time to learn to drink out of the toilet bowl just like your dog. For years your dog has watched you pour filtered water into a glass like some kind of insufferable French aristocrat. He has...
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Some summer vacations are a gift. Others are a hostage negotiation with worse sunscreen. If you're caring for someone with Alzheimer's, certain trips will test you like a Navy SEAL audition you...
Your uncle's toupee smells like ham. Not a vibe. Not a metaphor. Honey-glazed, faintly warm, sat-in-a-hot-Buick deli ham. Telling your uncle his toupee smells like ham is a delicate operation,...
The human body is a temple, and that temple is about to host an all-you-can-eat buffet with the fire exits welded shut. Most people approach weight gain like a guilty side hustle. They sneak a...
Not every sexually transmitted infection was created equal, and pretending otherwise is how people end up crying in a Walgreens aisle at 11pm. What follows is STDs ranked from almost fun to...
Carl the goldfish has been giving you a look. The same one your last Tinder date gave right before stealing your hoodie, your good frying pan, and the dignity you keep in the sock...