Mother's Day in hell hits a little different. The brunch reservations require notarized blood work and the mimosas are 90% your father's regret and 10% pulp. Picking the right gift for a damned...
Category: Family
The Complete Guide to Pretending to Enjoy Your Mother-in-Law’s Cooking
So. You made a face at Thanksgiving. Maybe it was the casserole. Maybe it was that gray meat situation that seemed to be watching you back. Maybe it was the jello mold that contained what appeared...
Your Mother-in-Law Isn’t the Antichrist, According to My Research
Look. This conversation has been a long time coming. You've been up at 3am doing things on the internet. Unhinged things. Googling "signs of demonic possession" and "can evil be hereditary" and "is...
How to Avoid Flirting at Family Reunions: A Survival Guide for the Genetically Connected Okay. Deep breath. Someone has to say this out loud, and apparently that someone is this guide because your...
Nobody talks about it at PTA meetings, but everyone knows: the best grandmas are absolutely hammered by noon. And thank God for that, because sober grandmas give you butterscotch candies and ask...
10 Creative Ways to Convince Your Dad He’s Not Actually Your Father
There you are. Sunday dinner. The man who claims to be your father is explaining why diagonal lawn stripes are superior to horizontal ones, and suddenly—SNAP—something in your brain just...