You’re looking at your cat right now, aren’t you? That fat little bastard is sitting there, shedding approximately $47 worth of premium textile materials per hour, and you’re just… what? Vacuuming it up? Throwing it away? In THIS economy? Listen. Somewhere in Vermont, there’s a woman named Sharon who’s pulling six figures from her Persian’s…
How to Get Rich Selling Fake Mustaches on eBay: Your Path to Hairy Fortune So you want to make money online but everything sounds like a scam written by someone who definitely lives in their mom’s basement? Yeah. Same. Here’s the thing though—while everyone else is losing their shirts on NFTs of cartoon apes or…
Alright, let’s address the elephant in the room. That number in the title? Complete nonsense. Made it up. But you clicked anyway because somewhere deep in your lizard brain, you thought “what if it’s real though?” That’s exactly the kind of delusional optimism you’ll need for this journey. Welcome to the Bottom of the Digital…
Disclaimer: This is satire. Don’t actually do this. Prison jumpsuits make everyone look like rejected Cheetos. So. You’ve decided to monetize human empathy. Everyone knows that one person whose “rare neurological condition” mysteriously flares up right before rent’s due. Their symptoms read like someone threw darts at a medical dictionary while blindfolded. Their doctor is…
Somebody paid $69 million for a JPEG of a monkey. Let that sink in. Sixty. Nine. Million. Dollars. For a picture. Of a monkey. That looks like it failed art school. Meanwhile, you’re over here with a “real” job and “ethics.” Pathetic. Here’s the thing about human beings: they’ll buy anything if you make them…
Starting a Blog Without Picking a Niche First: A Guide to Beautiful Chaos So you want to start a blog. Everyone and their yoga-instructor-turned-life-coach is screaming at you to “FIND YOUR NICHE!” They’re wrong. All of them. Every single one. Why Niches Are Overrated Anyway Picking a niche is like getting married to a topic…
