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link to How to Tell It’s Time to Change Your Underwear

How to Tell It’s Time to Change Your Underwear

Every pair of underwear on earth is involved in a slow, silent negotiation with the person wearing it. The underwear wants to retire. The person wants one more day. This is a conflict older than...

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link to How to Write a Book No One Will Ever Buy

How to Write a Book No One Will Ever Buy

So you want to be an author. That's beautiful. That's brave. That's also statistically one of the worst financial decisions a person can make, right up there with buying a timeshare or trusting a guy...

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link to How to Play Connect the Dots With Your Genital Herpes

How to Play Connect the Dots With Your Genital Herpes

The medical professional gave you the news, and now there’s a situation happening in the lower deck that looks like a pepperoni pizza had a mid-life crisis. It sucks. It’s itchy. It feels like...

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link to How to Celebrate Your Best Friend’s Divorce with a Champagne Shower

How to Celebrate Your Best Friend’s Divorce with a Champagne Shower

Your best friend just walked out of that courthouse looking like they escaped from a particularly tedious hostage situation where the kidnapper made them discuss their "communication styles" and...

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link to How to Hide Your Identity from Debt Collectors

How to Hide Your Identity from Debt Collectors

Debt collectors found you again? Of course they did. These people could find Waldo in witness protection. Here's the thing about owing money: everyone acts like it's some massive moral failing. Like...

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link to How to Profit Off Your Best Friend’s Terminal Illness Without Feeling Guilty

How to Profit Off Your Best Friend’s Terminal Illness Without Feeling Guilty

So your best friend's dying. Tragic. Anyway, let's talk money. What? Someone's gotta say it. While you're sitting there clutching your pearls, the hospital's charging $80 for a Tylenol and the...

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