Outdoors – Norveilex.com

A Beginner's Guide to Fly Fishing The idea of fly fishing probably conjures up images of idyllic rivers, serene landscapes, and people wearing bucket hats talking to fish like they’re old high school buddies. Fly fishing is kind of like regular fishing, but with more feathers and less sanity. If you want to look like a wizard casting spells on a body of water, you've come to the right place. Let’s get into the wild, confusing, and somewhat pointless adventure that is fly fishing—a sport that’s equal parts outdoorsmanship, absurdity, and just the right amount of masochism. The Absolute Importance of Dressing Like a Fly Fishing Fashionista Forget your fashion sense; fly fishing has its own set of rules, which revolve around three concepts: confusion, discomfort, and waterproofing. You’re not just catching fish; you're making a statement. Imagine you're preparing for the Met Gala, except the theme is "Muddy, Wet, and Unlovable." You’ll need waders—these are basically waterproof pants that go up to your armpits. Sure, you could fish without them, but you’d look like an amateur, and the fish would laugh at you. And yes, fish laugh. You won’t hear it, but it’s more of an emotional sting anyway. Oh, don’t forget the bucket hat. The bucket hat is crucial. Not only does it keep the sun off your face, but it’s also the international sign that says, “I might lose my sanity if I don't catch at least one fish today.” If possible, get one that’s covered in hooks, feathers, and general nonsense. You want to look like you got into a fistfight with a craft store and lost. And let’s not ignore the vest. The vest should have at least 47 pockets. What do these pockets hold? No one knows, not even experienced fly fishers. It’s a mystery, but you’re going to need a lot of them. Fill them with things that make you feel important—some flies, a small notebook of regrets, maybe a picture of the one fish that got away. The goal is to look like you're the world's most unprepared survivalist. Lastly, bring sunglasses. Not for the sun, but because it’s imperative to look mysterious. Fly fishing is 30% about tricking fish and 70% about tricking yourself into thinking you look cool. The Highly Overrated Art of Casting Casting is where the magic happens. And by magic, I mean a series of flailing arm movements that make you look like you’re trying to swat a mosquito with a broomstick. To cast properly, you need a fly rod, which is essentially a long stick designed to embarrass you. The whole point of casting is to get the fly in front of the fish in the most ridiculous way possible. The fly is a tiny, feathered hook meant to imitate bugs or, occasionally, aquatic small animals that fish find delicious. Of course, if the fly actually does look like a bug, you've probably done something wrong. Most fly-fishers are just out here tying random scraps of fabric and feathers onto a hook and hoping fish are as confused by it as they are. The technique itself? Imagine you’re at a rave, and you’re spinning glow sticks around, but instead of glow sticks, it’s a fly, and instead of impressing your friends, you’re trying to catch something that doesn't even have a concept of what "impressed" means. That’s casting. And let’s be real: you’re not going to get it right the first time. Or the hundredth. If you can get that line to land anywhere other than wrapped around your own neck, consider it a victory. If you get it stuck in a tree, congratulations, you’re now just part of the fly-fishing tradition. Sometimes, the line will get tangled. When that happens, stare at it like you’re attempting to solve a quantum physics equation with your mind. After approximately 15 minutes of hopeless fiddling, throw it on the ground in frustration, sigh deeply, and do it all over again. Understanding the Fish Psychology (Which You Definitely Don’t) Fly fishing isn’t just about throwing a line in the water and hoping a fish likes what it sees. Oh no. It’s about trying to understand what that fish wants, even though you can’t understand why you keep wearing socks that don’t match. Fish are apparently intelligent creatures, and your job is to get inside their tiny fish brains. Fish love flies. That’s why they jump out of the water to eat them. Except when you actually throw a fly out there, fish will usually ignore it because they sense your desperation. Fish can smell desperation from miles away. They like confidence. Or maybe they like worms. Who knows? You’re not going to catch anything by thinking logically. There are trout, bass, and other slippery characters with their own likes and dislikes. But all you need to know is that they like to be difficult. One day, trout will hit every fly that lands on the water, and the next day, they’ll act like you’re throwing a piece of driftwood. Just accept that trout are petty like that. Don’t let the fish intimidate you. Keep in mind they’re pretty dumb, considering they fall for flies tied by someone who thought “This pink feather looks like lunch” was a valid strategy. But sometimes they still outsmart you, and that’s okay. If you get skunked—meaning you catch nothing—make sure you tell your friends it’s because the fish are just too darn smart today. Blame it on water temperature or pressure systems. Throw out terms like "barometric resistance." The more scientific you sound, the more impressed people will pretend to be. The Many Wonders of Water Standing Around Doing Nothing Fly fishing requires water. That’s about all there is to say on that. The water could be moving, or it could be still, or maybe you’ve decided to just fish in a giant puddle. Nobody's judging. However, it’s important that you pick a water source that contains actual fish. You’d be surprised at how often people forget this crucial detail. Rivers are often chosen by fly-fishers because standing in water that’s constantly trying to make you lose your balance adds an extra thrill. Nothing says “good time” like the imminent risk of hypothermia. Plus, there’s always that great chance that you step on something squishy and have a small existential crisis about it. Then there are lakes. Lakes are for when you don’t want to mess around with currents, and you’d rather just deal with the creepy possibility that something is lurking beneath the still surface, plotting your demise. Fishing in a lake means embracing the mystery—what lurks down there? Nobody knows. Maybe it’s a fish. Maybe it’s your dignity, long forgotten. Water is also where you’ll find other creatures, like insects and frogs and maybe the occasional overly-confident goose. If you find yourself in a staring contest with a goose, just remember: it’s not about winning. It’s about surviving the encounter. Geese are jerks and will absolutely ruin your fishing day if they get the chance. Try to find a nice spot near some rocks or a place where you can awkwardly crouch and pretend you know what “good fishing habitat” is. If you see some water that looks fishy, trust your gut. It’s probably just water, but what the heck, give it a try. The Secret Society of Fly Tying (Where Sanity Goes to Die) Fly tying is like arts and crafts, but for adults who want to punish themselves emotionally. The point is to create a tiny, intricate bug imitation that you’ll immediately fling into a tree or lose on the first cast. It’s delicate, time-consuming, and about as fun as gluing your fingers together. You’ll need a vice, which is a small clamp to hold your hook in place. It’s called a “vice” because you’ll eventually find yourself using it just to squeeze the life out of something after you mess up the same fly for the fifth time. You’ll also need a bunch of colorful feathers, threads, beads, and more small, shiny bits than a magpie’s nest. Fly tying is part of the ritual—it’s the rite of passage every fly fisher must endure. You spend hours meticulously wrapping thread around a hook, adding little bits of fur and feathers until it vaguely resembles something edible. Then you name it. Maybe something like “The Purple Despair” or “The Rainbow Catastrophe.” Then you lose it on your first cast and watch it drift downriver, possibly catching a fish after it’s far out of your reach. Your flies will get better over time, though “better” is a relative term. After a while, you’ll learn that fish will sometimes eat anything if they’re hungry enough. Just throw something shiny in the water and hope for the best. In fly tying, it’s not about looking good—it’s about out-crazying the fish. Fly tying is also a great way to fill those cold winter evenings when you can't get out to fish. There’s nothing like the sweet satisfaction of spending five hours making one perfect fly, only to have it rejected by every single fish in the river. It’s humbling. But humility is an important part of fly fishing. Without humility, you’re just a person standing in the water waving a stick around like a maniac. The Essential Lack of Patience Required Fly fishing is essentially just a test of how long you can stand around in water without completely losing your mind. Unlike regular fishing, where you just plop a baited hook in the water and wait, fly fishing demands you wave a stick in the air for hours, continuously trying to fool creatures that probably don’t even understand what “fooling” means. Sometimes you won’t catch anything. Sometimes you’ll catch something but it’ll be disappointingly small. And other times, you’ll snag something so shockingly big that you’ll look around to see if there’s anyone nearby to bear witness to your sudden victory, only to find that the only audience you have is an unenthusiastic frog sitting on a log. One of the most difficult parts of fly fishing is pretending that you’re enjoying it, especially after four hours of standing there with nothing to show for it. Just you, your waders, and your fading optimism. At that point, it becomes more about proving to yourself that you’re not a quitter, even though you probably should be. But don’t quit. Quitting is for people who like dry socks. You’ll see other fly fishers on the river who seem to be catching everything in sight. Don’t let it bother you. They’re probably lying. They probably planted those fish for social media likes. If they wave at you, wave back, but do it with a slight hint of disdain. They’re your competition, but they’re also the only ones who truly understand your pain. Fly fishing will test your patience. It will make you question your choices in life, and it will also make you look pretty stupid most of the time. But if you finally catch that one elusive trout, if you feel that little tug on your line and manage to not scream in excitement—that’s when you know it’s worth it. At least until the next time, when you catch absolutely nothing again. The Big "Why Am I Doing This Again?" Moment Fly fishing isn’t about catching fish. If you think it’s about catching fish, you’re wrong. Fly fishing is about everything but catching fish. It’s about staring at a river, wondering why you paid a ridiculous amount of money for a fancy stick and some waterproof pants. It’s about the thrill of the unknown, even when the unknown is “Is that a snake or just a stick floating by?” Eventually, you’ll have the “Why am I even doing this?” moment. It happens to everyone. Usually around the time you realize that your waders have a leak, your line is tangled in a way that might require divine intervention, and a fish has just jumped a few feet from you—taunting you—because you clearly aren’t getting anywhere near it. Fly fishing is about the tiny victories—the moments when you manage to untangle your line without crying, or when a fish rises for your fly, and even though you miss the hook set, you’re just happy it noticed you. It’s about finding joy in the little things, like not slipping on that mossy rock and plunging face-first into the river. You’ll question your sanity more than once. But then there are those moments—when the sun is setting, the river is calm, and you’re casting, and even though there’s not a single fish in sight, you realize that it doesn’t really matter. You’re here, you’re part of something bigger, and you’re convinced that at some point, this will make a good story to tell people who probably won’t even pretend to care. Fly fishing is absurd. It’s frustrating. It’s silly. And for some reason, it’s also beautiful. Just don’t forget your bucket hat. That’s what really makes the magic happen.