You should not use a torch to remove hemorrhoids. That sentence should have ended the conversation. Yet somewhere on Earth, a grown adult is right now eyeing the warranty card on a Bernzomatic and...
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Here is the truth, served straight and unsalted: you probably cannot stop eating Pringles before you finish the can. Nobody can. The few saints who claim otherwise are lying, or they have simply...
How to Get Your Security Deposit Back After Keeping a Miniature Horse Indoors
You kept a horse indoors. A small one. It was still a horse, and your apartment will never forget it. Now the lease is ending, and your landlord is clutching your deposit like the last lifeboat...
Warning Signs Your Date Is Trying to Harvest Your Organs for Resale
Dating already means screening strangers for whether they chew with their mouth open or text their mom mid-appetizer. Now there's a newer concern. Whether they want your kidneys, and whether...
Somewhere in America right now, a 34-year-old paralegal is gazing into the soulful eyes of a beagle named Reginald and thinking the unthinkable. Reginald is a wonderful boy. He has never judged...
Somewhere out there, a brave and deeply confused soul is standing in a bathroom holding a bag of oranges and a fifth of rum, doing math. This page exists for that person. What follows is 101...
