Your uncle's toupee smells like ham. Not a vibe. Not a metaphor. Honey-glazed, faintly warm, sat-in-a-hot-Buick deli ham. Telling your uncle his toupee smells like ham is a delicate operation,...
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The human body is a temple, and that temple is about to host an all-you-can-eat buffet with the fire exits welded shut. Most people approach weight gain like a guilty side hustle. They sneak a...
Not every sexually transmitted infection was created equal, and pretending otherwise is how people end up crying in a Walgreens aisle at 11pm. What follows is STDs ranked from almost fun to...
Carl the goldfish has been giving you a look. The same one your last Tinder date gave right before stealing your hoodie, your good frying pan, and the dignity you keep in the sock...
Squatting in a foreclosed McMansion is the closest a broke person gets to inheriting money from a rich uncle they invented. The bank stopped caring. The previous owner fled to Scottsdale to "find...
There are nine signs your mechanic is a horse in a human costume, and you have ignored every single one of them. That weird guy at the shop isn't "quirky." He isn't "old school." He's a...