So your friend just got dumped. Or maybe they finally dumped that walking red flag they’ve been dating. Doesn’t matter. Point is, they’re now a disaster human who’s about to make your life infinitely more complicated. Congrats! You’ve been promoted to Emotional Support Human. No, you don’t get paid for this. The First 48 Hours:…
The Basics of Keeping Freshwater Fish: Or How to Become a Certified Underwater Landlord So you think you want fish. Cute. Nobody tells you the truth about fish ownership because Big Aquarium wants your money. They’ll sell you dreams of peaceful underwater scenes while hiding the fact that you’re basically signing up to be a…
You know what’s hilarious? That moment when you realize your dog has better taste in furniture than you do. Specifically, they taste ALL the furniture. But here’s the thing—you can absolutely have a home that looks like adults live there. Adults who happen to cohabitate with furry tornados of destruction, sure, but adults nonetheless. You…
Building a Side Business While Working Full-Time: The Art of Slowly Losing Your Mind So you want to start a side business while keeping your 9-to-5? That’s adorable. That’s like saying you want to take up extreme ironing while performing brain surgery. Underwater. During a hurricane. But hey, who needs sanity when you can have…
Whoever invented business dinners deserves a special place in hell. Right between the people who reply-all to company emails and whoever decided open office plans were a good idea. Picture this: You’re trying to eat soup—SOUP—while someone who controls your salary watches you like a nature documentary. “And here we see the Junior Account Manager…
Right now, at this very moment, there’s a bag of lettuce in your fridge morphing into pond scum. Don’t check. Just accept it. It’s there, developing its own weather system, probably writing poetry about abandonment. You bought it Sunday. Full of hope. Full of lies. “This week,” you said. “This week I eat salad.” It’s…