Online Dating Tips – Page 4

Midgets make everything better. If you're over the hill, get yourself a midget, and you'll feel half your age. Midgets tend to have a short life span, but your new midget friend will make you look so young that nobody will even notice how wrinkly you are. If you're a senior citizen and looking for love, midgets can be the perfect match. Midgets are many things that a senior citizen wants in a partner. They're easy to carry, easier to handle, and they don't eat a lot. You won't even need to help them across the street on the way home. And, if you're a senior citizen looking for love, the most important thing of all is that they're easy to fit into your pocket! Midgets are perfect partners, and you'll look forward to a long and happy life together. Here are a few tips to make this relationship work: 1) When you're out on dates, let your midget do most of the talking. They tell you how amazing it is that you're still alive and can go on dates. They sing songs about how wonderful they are. You don't have to say much because they're just so cute and young. You have to wonder if they're really even human. 2) While you're out on dates, make sure your midget can fit into your pocket. It's very interesting when you can pull them out of your pocket and show them off to your friends. They'll be impressed with how sexy you must be if all the midgets follow you around like that. They'll probably ask you for a midget, so you might have to sneak out of the room with your midget and find another bar. 3) Speaking of bars, be careful if you meet up with other midgets and senior citizens. If there's more than one midget, you're in danger of being crushed. If there are other senior citizens, you're in danger of being eaten alive by midgets. Don't tell them how much you enjoy being in their company. They might just want to eat you so they can feel young again. 4) When you're in love, make sure to find a midget that likes the same things you do. If you're a midget fan, find a midget that also likes midgets, but don't be surprised if they're attracted to all those other senior citizens. You can't tell them how to feel. If you don't mind dating a midget that likes to hang out with other senior citizens, go for it. You'll be lonely, but they're probably just trying to find a place where they can crawl around on the floor. 5) Find a midget that's open-minded about age. You're probably a few years older than they are, but they might like to think of themselves as an older woman. These midgets will be really impressed with all the stories you have about your long and happy life. They'll be impressed with all the things that you've done. They'll cling to you like little kids, but they won't let you go anywhere. Don't try and put them down; don't even try and teach them how to survive on their own. They're just too cute and sweet. 6) When you're out on dates, don't talk about anything that's going to embarrass them. Midgets are so adorable, and you'll want to show them off to your friends. Don't talk about how they're such little kids and how much they smell. You'll never get any dates with other midgets or senior citizens if they think you're a mean person who likes to point out negative things about them. 7) Don't get upset if you find out that the midget is not who they say they are. You will probably find out sooner or later, even if they seem really sweet and innocent. Of course, you'll probably be too old to have much fun when you see them. Just remember the good times you had together and how cute they were. They'll be so nice to you just so you're happy. Remember, they're still really cute. 8) Always carry around your midget. They like to be carried around, and they must get their exercise. It's easy enough for them to just sit on your lap, but you should probably invest in some midget chairs that are very light and very small. Make sure that you have a few of them for your friends. When you're out on dates, they'll be impressed with how cute and small your midget is. They'll want to pet them and wipe their noses. If they are covered in germs, they don't really care. They're probably just adorable little old people. 9) Be patient with your midget love. They've had a hard life so far, but you can make it better. If you find out that they have scabies or lice, don't worry. They're just trying to be clean and cute. You should probably shave them, but don't expect them to like it. 10) Most importantly, never try to change your midget into something that they're not. They are a midget, and that's how they were born. Let them be little old people who like to crawl around on the floor and go places in your pocket. Stand by them when they're not doing well and always give them extra hugs when they're having a bad day. They're just trying to be happy, and a little love can go a long way. Final thoughts Many senior citizens are afraid of relationships because they fear that they will never find a second mate. Fear is the root of all evil, and sometimes it can be solved by a good midget. Midgets are always around to make you feel young and keep you from being lonely. If you want to have a long and happy life with someone who makes you feel young, get a midget. You'll be so happy that the years will just fly by.