So you’re getting married. Big mistake. But congratulations, you’re going to commit to a lifetime of arguments over whose turn it is to clean up the puke your future kid hurled at 3 a.m. But that’s not the focus today. Today is about adding some much-needed flair to your wedding day—by wearing a fake mustache….
Ah, the classic slip-up. We’ve all been there, right? No? Well, anyway, when you find yourself in that awkward situation where you’ve turned the neighbor’s pool into your personal urinal, you’ll need some top-tier excuses to avoid being forever known as the “pool pisser.” Here’s a no-holds-barred, completely absurd list of excuses that’ll have your…
When it comes to bizarre culinary questions, asking about the caloric content of a Great White Shark is definitely up there. But hey, why not? Let’s dive into the hypothetical and completely ridiculous idea of consuming one of nature’s apex predators. A Shark the Size of Texas: More Than a Mouthful Ever looked at a…
Divorce is the emotional equivalent of a root canal performed with a rusty spoon. While society tells you to take the high road, there’s a beautiful, petty part of all of us that craves retribution. And here’s the thing: it’s possible to get that sweet, sweet vengeance while still maintaining the appearance of an innocent,…
We’ve all been there: it’s Saturday night, and you’re too drunk to call anyone who exists. What’s left? Hosting a tea party for the people who are always there for you – your invisible friends. That’s right, they don’t bail on you for “family obligations” or “court hearings.” No, they’re reliable as hell and always…
Welcome to the masterpiece of irresponsible decisions. You’re here because you’ve either been spending money you don’t have or you’re thinking about it. Either way, congratulations—you’ve arrived at the gold standard for completely wrecking your financial future. Let’s strip the concept of “money” down to what it really is: a figment of the imagination. You…