How to Explain to Your Children That Selling Their Kidneys Is a Bad Idea
Your kid just asked if kidneys depreciate in value like cars. Sit with that. Really let it marinate in whatever's left of your sanity. This Is Happening. This Is Your Life Now. Between teaching...
Smelliest Fish to Microwave at Work (If You Want to Annoy Coworkers)
So you've decided to become the office villain. Good for you! Look, somebody has to be the reason Karen from HR drinks directly from the wine bottle at 2 PM on a Tuesday. Might as well be you and...
Okay, so here's what's absolutely bananas about living in 2025. We've taught computers to paint like Picasso. There's a billionaire literally trying to upload his brain to the cloud. Your car can...
You're standing in the beef jerky aisle. Again. The cashier recognizes you now. She's seen the look in your eyes – that hollow stare of someone who lost their teeth but not their will to consume...
Your landlord already hates you. Might as well give him a reason. The Part Where This Somehow Makes Sense Look, everyone's pretending to be an entrepreneur these days. That guy from your gym...
So you're sitting there in your business casual coffin, pretending that synergy is a real word and your life has meaning. Cool. Cool cool cool. Meanwhile, somewhere in Texas, a grown adult in polka...
