Disclaimer: This is satire. Pay your bills. The electric company has bills too, probably. So that electric bill just showed up. And it's... wow. It's giving "small mortgage payment." It's giving...
Posts by Michael
Right now, somewhere in suburbia, Karen is taking a sensible shower in her sensible bathroom with her sensible lavender soap. Don't be like Karen. Karen's bathroom doesn't have a lazy river....
Alright. Let's talk about the terrorist currently occupying your left nostril. You know exactly what's happening up there. It's been setting up camp since your morning coffee, and every time you...
The Best Hot Peppers to Spice Up Your Mother-in-Law’s Bland Cooking
Your mother-in-law thinks paprika is a personality trait. Not a spice. A personality trait. As in, "Oh, you know me, always living on the edge with my paprika!" Meanwhile, the paprika expired during...
So you want head lice. No, really. While everyone else is measuring their protein powder and arguing about whether sumo deadlifts count, you've decided to go full chaos mode and cultivate scalp...
You absolute madman. You really woke up and chose violence against common sense, didn't you? Everyone else is out here worried about parallel parking and you're like "nah, gonna fly a plane with my...