Choosing a winning horse by name means you ignore the form, the odds, and the snorting half-tonne athlete in front of you, and back whichever name makes you laugh into your pint. It is the betting system of the brave and the magnificently unbothered. And it works roughly as well as the serious methods. Which…
Congratulations: the weight is gone, and your skin is now hanging off you like a wet bath towel draped over a cheap coat rack. What to do with loose skin after Ozempic weight loss comes down to four real options. Build muscle under it. Throw money at lasers. Pay a surgeon to slice it off….
There’s never a good time to tell your parents you’re dating a mannequin. But there are spectacularly bad ones. You keep finding them with the precision of a heat-seeking missile aimed squarely at your mother’s last good nerve, usually with the whole family watching. The worst times to tell your parents you’re dating a mannequin…
Competitive chicken wing eating is the only American sport where the trophy goes to whoever can most convincingly lie about what just happened to a chicken. The prize money is real. The stomach damage is permanent. The temptation to fudge your bone count is roughly the size of a Honda Civic. Australian eater James Webb…
She came over carrying cookies and kissed you on the cheek. The breath she sent your way on the exhale could strip varnish off a coffin. The dentures have crossed a line. They are no longer teeth, they are a bioweapon parked behind her lipstick. You love her, and you also love breathing. Both things…
Somewhere in America right now, a gastroenterologist is staring at the back of a stranger’s head from a profoundly unflattering angle. They have heard things. Disturbing things. Quotable things. Things their spouses have not been told about. Some of those things were said by patients running on one-third sedation, one-third dignity, and one-third leftover Pinot…
