The Signs Your New Facebook Friend Might Be a Space Alien

Last Updated on July 6, 2024 by Michael

You’ve just accepted a new friend request on Facebook. Your new friend seems a little… off. They’re quirky, eccentric, and maybe even a bit mysterious. But how can you be sure they’re not just a run-of-the-mill weirdo? Here are some signs your new Facebook friend might actually be a space alien.

They React to Your Posts with Emojis You’ve Never Seen

Everyone loves a good emoji. Smiley faces, hearts, thumbs up – we’ve seen them all. But when your new friend starts reacting to your posts with emojis that look like a cross between a hieroglyph and a toddler’s drawing, you might be dealing with something extraterrestrial.

One day you post about your cat, and suddenly there’s an emoji that looks like a flying toaster. You share a funny meme, and bam – there’s a symbol that resembles a blender eating a sock. Maybe you comment on the weather, and up pops an emoji that anc only be described as a disco ball with chicken legs. These are not your everyday emojis, folks.

Let’s be honest, Facebook updates its emoji library now and then, but when your friend uses icons that look like they’re from a 90s sci-fi cartoon, it’s time to question their origins. Unless Facebook suddenly hired Salvador Dali to design emojis, you’ve got a mystery on your hands.

Their Profile Picture is Always Changing to Weird, Unexplainable Things

We all know that one person who changes their profile picture way too often. But what about the person who changes it every few hours to images that defy explanation?

First, it’s a picture of a stapler dancing on a rainbow. Then, it’s an image of a potato dressed as a pirate. Next, you see a photo of a tiny spaceship hovering over a plate of spaghetti. One day, they even change it to a picture of Bigfoot riding a unicycle while juggling flamingos.

Sure, we’ve all seen some weird profile pictures, but these are next-level bizarre. Either they’re a meme lord from an alternate dimension, or their camera roll is a portal to an alien gallery.

Their Posts Look Like Random Word Generators on Acid

You scroll through your feed and see a status update from your new friend. But instead of a coherent sentence, it’s a jumble of words that makes you question your sanity. “Flibber snargle waffles glibbering underpants to the moon!”

You think, “Maybe their cat walked across the keyboard.” But it keeps happening. Every. Single. Post.

“Gibblety gook with a side of flibber floo.” “Dancing aardvarks in tutus under the luminescent fog of Jupiter.” “Meep meep, beep beep, honk honk, slurp!”

Your brain tries to decode these posts, but it’s like trying to read hieroglyphs while upside down and drunk. You realize either they’re testing out a new form of AI poetry, or their alien brain can’t quite grasp human syntax.

They Have an Obsession with Strange Earthly Objects

We all have our hobbies, but when your friend’s interests include collecting toenail clippings or cataloging every episode of an obscure 70s soap opera in reverse order, something’s fishy.

They might post about their impressive collection of belly button lint or share their passion for analyzing the textures of various types of cheese under a microscope. Maybe they even invite you to virtual events like “Live Stream of My Pet Rock’s Birthday Party” or “Symposium on the Philosophical Implications of Belly Fluff.”

Their enthusiasm for the mundane is not just quirky – it’s otherworldly. They might be trying to blend in by showing interest in human activities, but they’re picking the strangest ones possible. You start to suspect their true mission is to understand the bizarre aspects of human culture that even we don’t get.

Their Facebook Check-Ins Are Out of This World

You check your friend’s location check-ins, and instead of the usual coffee shops and local parks, they’re logging visits to places that don’t exist.

“Checked in at Galactic Donut Emporium, Andromeda Galaxy.” “Enjoying a relaxing day at the Lava Pits of Zorgon V.” “Lunch at the Interdimensional Taco Stand.”

Either they’re the most creative sci-fi writer in history, or their GPS is set to “Alien Explorer” mode. You comment on their check-ins, and they respond with things like, “The Zorgon V tacos are to die for – literally, don’t eat the green sauce unless you’re immune to acid.”

Normal humans don’t check in at places you need a warp drive to get to. You start to question if they’re using Facebook’s location services to chart out interstellar travel destinations. Or maybe they’re just really, really committed to their LARPing.

Their Friends List Includes People with Very Unusual Names

You glance at their friends list and see a parade of names that look like they came straight out of a Star Wars casting call. Names like Zorblax the Unfathomable, Glip Glorp, Xantar Destroyer of Worlds, and Susan (but Susan’s just there to throw you off the scent).

You send a friend request to Zorblax the Unfathomable out of curiosity, and he responds with, “Greetings, Earthling! Have you met our mutual friend? They’re quite the ambassador for our kind.”

Now, either your friend is the most dedicated cosplayer in the galaxy, or they’re really rubbing elbows with beings from beyond the stars. When you get a poke from someone named “Gleep Glorp” with a profile picture of a fluorescent slug, it’s hard to ignore the extraterrestrial vibes.

Their Event Invitations Are from Another Dimension

Everyone loves a good event invitation – birthdays, weddings, potlucks. But when you start receiving invites to events like “Intergalactic Squid Wrestling Championships” or “Quantum Sing-Along with the Space Dolphins,” you know something’s up.

They might invite you to “Join the Great Nebula BBQ and Hoverboard Derby” or “Celebrate the Eclipse of Zarnak with a Ritualistic Dance-Off.” You consider RSVP’ing just to see what happens, but then you wonder if you’d need a spacesuit.

You message them asking for details, and they reply with instructions involving wormholes, time travel, and a side note about avoiding the mind-melting rays of the blue sun. You figure you’ll just stick to Netflix that night.

Their Photos Are Proof of Alien Life

Scrolling through their photo albums, you expect to see selfies, vacation snaps, maybe some pet pics. Instead, you find images that look like they belong in a conspiracy theorist’s wet dream.

There’s a picture of a glowing crop circle with your friend standing proudly in the middle. Another shows them shaking hands (or tentacles) with a creature that can only be described as a jellyfish wearing a bowler hat. One particularly haunting image features your friend holding what appears to be the disembodied head of E.T. while giving a thumbs up.

You wonder if they’re a master of Photoshop, but the sheer volume and detail of these photos suggest otherwise. Either they have a future in Hollywood special effects, or they’ve been documenting their alien escapades with meticulous care.

They Speak in What Seems Like Ancient Prophecies

We all love a good inspirational quote, but when your friend’s posts sound like they’re channeling a 5000-year-old oracle, it’s worth a raised eyebrow.

“On the third moon of Xylop, the harvest shall begin, and the chosen ones will reveal their true forms.” “Beware the ides of Nebulon, for the cosmic alignment foretells the rise of the squid emperor.” “When the red star ascends, the children of the stardust will reclaim their destiny.”

You scratch your head and wonder if they’ve been hitting the sci-fi novels a bit too hard. But when you see other comments like “The prophecy speaks true” and “All hail the squid emperor,” you realize there’s a whole community of these prophetically inclined individuals.

They’re either running the most elaborate sci-fi role-playing game known to man, or they’re genuinely awaiting the return of some extraterrestrial overlord. Either way, their Facebook wall reads like a mix between Nostradamus and Doctor Who.

Their Relationship Status is Complicated… Really Complicated

Relationship statuses are tricky enough without intergalactic complications. But when your friend lists their relationship status as “In a polyamorous union with Xanthor the Benevolent and three sentient blobs from the Gamma Quadrant,” you know you’re in for a wild ride.

They might post about their romantic dinners with beings who communicate through telepathy or their weekend getaways to moons with methane lakes. Their status updates might include photos of them holding hands (or appendages) with figures that defy human anatomy.

You get the feeling their relationship advice would be out of this world, literally. “How to Keep the Spark Alive When Your Partner Can Phase Through Walls” or “Dealing with Jealousy When Your Lover Has 12 Eyes” are just some of the tips they might offer.

Conclusion: Your Friend Might Be from Outer Space

It’s clear that your new Facebook friend isn’t just another quirky human. From their bizarre posts and prophetic ramblings to their alien emojis and interdimensional events, the evidence is stacking up.

While they might just be an eccentric genius with a flair for the fantastical, there’s a strong chance they’re broadcasting from a spaceship orbiting Saturn. Whether you embrace this alien friendship or run for the hills is up to you. Just be prepared for the most bizarre Facebook feed you’ve ever experienced.

Now, go check your friend list – you never know who (or what) might be lurking in there.