Posts by Michael

Listen. You're there at 6 AM anyway, standing under those fluorescent lights that make everyone look like they're dying of consumption. The coffee tastes like despair. Someone's definitely crying in...

Another baby name list? Really? Yeah, but this one's different. Your sister-in-law isn't suggesting Lipitor. Your mom's not pushing for little baby Viagra. And that's exactly why they're both...

So here's the situation. You've got a colostomy bag. Halloween's coming. And every costume guide on the internet is pretending you don't exist. Well, screw that. Your bag is about to become the...

So you've chosen violence. That's what it is, really. Every morning when you crack open that can of weaponized caffeine before your brain even registers consciousness. Your teeth have started...

Finally, someone had the ovaries to write this You know what's weird? Wine people pair wine with literally everything. Cheese. Chocolate. Your zodiac sign. That one time Jessica paired wines...

Disclaimer: This is satire. Pyramid schemes are illegal. Please don't. Seriously. Your mom is worried about you. So. You've been to the meeting. The one in that beige conference room where someone...