Blue lights. That specific shade of oh-shit-blue that makes your sphincter achieve dimensions previously only theorized by quantum physicists. And there you are, sitting in your Honda Civic that...
Archives: Blog
Alright, let's address the worm in the room. You've got a tapeworm. Maybe you got it from that sketchy sushi place where the health grade was somehow a "C-". Maybe it was that backpacking trip...
Right, so everyone's walking around acting like their Myers-Briggs type is a medical diagnosis. "Sorry, can't come to your party, it would drain my INTJ energy." Meanwhile, you're over here with an...
Why You Should Confess Your Deepest Secrets to a Walmart Greeter
Therapy costs $200 an hour and they make you talk about your mother. Know what's free? Absolutely destroying Gerald's will to live while he checks receipts at the door. The Beautiful Truth About...
The Fastest Ways to Gain Weight to Get Type 2 Diabetes: A Guide for Overachievers Disclaimer: This is satire. Obviously. If you actually do this stuff, that's on you. Ever look at your functioning...
How to Legally Marry a Rotisserie Chicken: A Comprehensive Guide for the Romantically Adventurous Alright. You're here. Reading this. At whatever ungodly hour you've chosen to question every life...