Your landlord's calling again. That ringtone might as well be the sound of your soul leaving your body. Look, sometimes rent just... doesn't happen. Maybe you invested your last thousand in a...
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The Ultimate Guide to Boxed Wine Brands for Newbie Alcoholics
Look. You're here. Reading about boxed wine at... what time is it? Doesn't matter. Time is a social construct and so is wine snobbery. You know how this started? That moment in the liquor store when...
Your prostate has been colonized by Belgian communists and buddy, that's just Tuesday now. The Beginning of Your Extremely Specific Nightmare Starts with the pee, obviously. One morning you're...
What to Do If Your Imaginary Friend Chokes at an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
Steve's turning purple again. Right there. Between the wilted salad bar and that chocolate fountain nobody should trust. Making that face—you know the one. Like a fish discovering air isn't...
So here's the thing. You've been lied to. Every morning for your entire life, you've squeezed that tube of minty nonsense onto your brush like some kind of fluoride-worshipping sheep, and for what?...
So your snake is having a midlife crisis. You get it. Maybe Mr. Slithers caught his reflection in the terrarium glass and realized he's been bald his entire life. Maybe Princess Noodle saw that...