So you want to build a climbing wall in your garage? Let’s talk about your life choices for a second. Your spouse has already started browsing Zillow. Your kids are live-tweeting the disaster. The dog won’t make eye contact anymore. And somewhere, deep in the suburbs, an HOA board member just felt a disturbance in…
Alright, let’s talk about that drawer. You know exactly which one. The drawer that sounds like a medieval battle when you open it. The one where plastic unitaskers go to die. The drawer that’s basically a $400 junk museum dedicated to your poor impulse control and that time you watched too much QVC after three…
So you want to buy a violin. God help you. No really, start praying now because you’re about to enter a world where grown adults argue about the spiritual qualities of dead trees and whether a bow made from Brazilian wood will unlock your child’s hidden Mozart genes. Spoiler: it won’t. Your kid’s gonna sound…
So you want to focus better but your willpower has the strength of wet tissue paper? Join the club. They meet every Tuesday but nobody remembers to show up. The Willpower Myth (Or: Why Your Brain is a Lying Liar Who Lies) Let’s get something straight. Your brain? It’s not your friend. This is the…
Thinking about getting permanently stabbed with ink? Fantastic. Let’s make sure Future You doesn’t want to skin themselves like a potato. Here’s the thing: tattoos are forever. Like, actually forever. Not “forever” like your high school relationship or that gym membership you swore you’d use. This is real commitment, baby. Step 1: Realize Your Current…
Your gut is running a dictatorship and you’re not even invited to the meetings. Think about it. You’ve got 100 trillion bacteria living rent-free in your intestines, making decisions about your mood, your weight, and whether you’ll spend tomorrow crying over a commercial about dogs. These microscopic squatters have more control over your life than…
