Carl the goldfish has been giving you a look. The same one your last Tinder date gave right before stealing your hoodie, your good frying pan, and the dignity you keep in the sock...
Archives: Blog
Squatting in a foreclosed McMansion is the closest a broke person gets to inheriting money from a rich uncle they invented. The bank stopped caring. The previous owner fled to Scottsdale to "find...
There are nine signs your mechanic is a horse in a human costume, and you have ignored every single one of them. That weird guy at the shop isn't "quirky." He isn't "old school." He's a...
Smelling like cheap bourbon before lunch is a lifestyle, and lifestyles require alibis. The bad news is that everyone's nose works. The good news is that everyone's nose is also stupid and easily...
Dentures and a heavy night out have never been friends. Somewhere past the fourth pint, your teeth quietly develop ambitions of their own. A loose denture and eight lagers is not a partnership....
There is a specific man. You have met him. He stood too close at a wedding and told you, unprompted, what his watch "appreciates at." He does not own clothes. He owns evidence. Every garment...