Alright, let's do this. You're googling "McDonald's hemorrhoids safe food" at 11:47 PM because your ass feels like it's hosting a volcano convention and you still want nuggets. This is rock bottom...
Category: Food
There's a bottle of ranch in your fridge right now that expired during the Trump administration. The first one. You're gonna eat it. This is not a judgment. This is a fact. Because at 11:47 PM next...
Okay so you just had an abortion and now you're googling what to eat because apparently that's a thing people google. The medical pamphlet suggested crackers and clear liquids like you're recovering...
The Best Side Dishes That Go Great With Boogers: A Culinary Guide Nobody Asked For You pick your nose. Stop making that face. Scientists say 91% of adults do it and the other 9% are liars with...
Nobody asked for this guide. Nobody wants this guide. But at 7:43 AM, when that questionable airport sushi starts its revenge tour right before your big presentation, you'll thank whatever twisted...
Walking to get food? What is this, the Renaissance? Humanity spent millions of years evolving opposable thumbs just so we could perfect their ultimate purpose: frantically tapping "order again" at...