Food is a subscription service you never signed up for. Think about it. Every single day, your body sends you notifications like some needy app. "Time to eat!" Ding. "You're hungry!" Buzz. "Feed me...
Posts by Michael
How to Avoid Being Eaten by Dinosaurs When Time Traveling to the Mesozoic Era
Alright, so you've gotten your hands on a time machine. And instead of using it for literally anything sensible—betting on sports, buying Apple stock in 1997, preventing your most embarrassing...
So you found a lump. And now you're three hours deep into WebMD, standing sideways in your bathroom mirror like you're auditioning for a Picasso painting, convinced you have approximately 48 hours...
It's 7:23 PM and you just remembered. That virtual dinner date. The one where she'll pretend to eat digital pasta while you pretend this counts as human connection. Problem is, the boys just started...
You've been scammed your entire life. Not by Nigerian princes or crypto bros or that guy selling speakers out of a van. No, you've been scammed by something far more sinister: the two-eyed...
So apparently this is a thing now. People—actual human beings with jobs and mortgages—are out here telling other people to eat cigarette butts for hiccups. This is where we are as a species....