Acceptable Situations for Soiling Yourself on Public Transit
Acceptable Situations for Soiling Yourself on Public Transit: A Comprehensive Guide Alright. We're doing this. Nobody asked for this guide but here we are, staring into the abyss of humanity's...
Blue lights. That specific shade of oh-shit-blue that makes your sphincter achieve dimensions previously only theorized by quantum physicists. And there you are, sitting in your Honda Civic that...
Why You Should Confess Your Deepest Secrets to a Walmart Greeter
Therapy costs $200 an hour and they make you talk about your mother. Know what's free? Absolutely destroying Gerald's will to live while he checks receipts at the door. The Beautiful Truth About...
Alright, let's address the elephant in the room. The elephant that Bobby would probably tattoo as a "large dog with a weird nose." You're here because you saw that Groupon. Ninety percent off at...
You're standing in the frozen foods section at Trader Joe's and it's happening. That little throat tingle. The eye burn. Your lower lip doing that stupid wobbly thing. Maybe it's because they moved...
A Totally Scientific Guide to Winning at Life (Terms and Conditions Apply) 4:47 AM: Nobody's Buying This Shit You set your alarm for 4:47 AM because some dickhead on LinkedIn said prime...
