The uterus came out, the bills came in, and somewhere on a stainless steel tray sits an organ that just spent forty years bleeding on demand without so much as a thank-you card. Most women hand her over to the surgeon and never look back. That is a tragedy with a solvable third act. She…
Someone had to write this. The internet has been waiting. The dartboards have been waiting. The void has been waiting, and the void is circular and mounted on a wall. You clicked on this article, which says something about you. Either you’re blind and genuinely interested in throwing sharp objects recreationally, or you’re sighted and…
Something’s wrong. You can’t put your finger on it at first. Maybe it’s the way your bedroom smells like a petting zoo that lost its funding. Maybe it’s the mysterious fur stuck to your ceiling fan. Or maybe—just maybe—it’s the Size 28 footprint in chocolate pudding on your nightstand. Congratulations. You’ve joined an exclusive club…
So you’re blind. And you want to fly a plane. Alone. Alone alone. Like, nobody else in the cockpit. Just you and several tons of aluminum hurtling through the atmosphere at speeds that would liquefy a human body on impact. You, specifically, who cannot see the ground. Or the sky. Or the difference between the…
Someone just microwaved fish in the office. At 8:47 AM. This isn’t just a smell anymore – it’s an entity. It has consciousness. Pretty sure it just filed a W-2. And you? You’re standing there calculating whether “assault with a deadly halibut” is an actual charge while Derek from accounting cheerfully eats his breakfast like…
15 Things Pawn Shops Won’t Buy (No Matter How Desperately You Need Gas Money) Rent’s due. Your bank account looks like a typo. And suddenly that pile of “collectibles” in your garage is looking less like junk and more like your ticket to solvency. Hold up. Before you load up the minivan with your life’s…